talking stage

What does talking stage mean?

The talking stage is the stretch before a relationship gets a label. Two people like each other and are clearly in touch, texting most days, sending memes, maybe going out a few times, but neither has said "we're together." Bark's 2026 parent guide to dating slang describes it as the phase between flirting and official dating. Wiktionary, under the near-synonym talking phase, calls it the point in contact between people where romantic interest starts to develop.

What counts as "talking" varies by age. For younger teens it can be almost entirely texting and snapping, with the occasional awkward hello at school. For adults on dating apps it often includes real dates. The common thread is the lack of a definition: no title, and usually no agreement about seeing other people.

You will hear it in a few forms:

• in the talking stage: "we've been in the talking stage since August"
• we're (just) talking: the casual version, often said to deflect questions
• talking to someone: "I'm talking to someone from my chem class"

The stage ends in one of a handful of ways. Two people decide to make it official, often in a "define the relationship" chat. Or one person fades out, or the whole thing fizzles. Sometimes it sags into a situationship, which is what people call it when the label never comes.

Examples

• Older relative at dinner: "Is he your boyfriend?" "We're just talking." "What does that mean?" "It means don't ask."
• Group chat: "three months of talking stage is legally a situationship, I don't make the rules"
• Dating app bio: "looking for something real, not a talking stage that lasts until 2027"
• TikTok caption: "the talking stage is two people pretending not to check their phones"
• High school hallway: "wait, are they talking? since when?"
• Coworker at lunch: "I'm in a talking stage with someone from the climbing gym, don't jinx it"
• Friend after a first date: "so are we past the talking stage or still in it"

In speech, talking does most of the work by itself. "Are they talking?" is understood as a question about romance, not about whether two people have exchanged words.

Where did talking stage come from?

No single person coined it. The phrase grew out of ordinary speech, where "talking to someone" is a soft way to describe early romance. What the written record shows is when it settled into a fixed term:

• 2017: An Urban Dictionary definition dated March 16, 2017, describes it as two people flirting and slowly getting into a relationship, a sign the phrase was already familiar online.
• 2018: Dana M. Malone's book From Single to Serious, published by Rutgers University Press and quoted by Wiktionary, discusses the "group and talking phases" of dating on American evangelical campuses.
• 2020: The communication textbook Close Encounters, from SAGE Publications and also quoted by Wiktionary, notes that ghosting is most common when commitment is low, such as during the "talking phase."
• 2023 to 2026: Bark's guide to dating slang for parents, first published in February 2023 and updated in January 2026, defines the talking stage for adults trying to keep up with teens.

That scholarly books were using the closely related "talking phase" by 2018 says a lot. The idea had gone from slang to a stage of dating that researchers needed a name for.

Talking stage vs situationship vs dating

These three get blurred, so here is how people usually draw the lines.

A talking stage is supposed to be temporary. The longer it runs without a decision, the more likely someone is to call it a situationship. For more of this vocabulary, see the dating slang guide.

Is talking stage rude?

Not at all. It is one of the most innocent phrases in dating slang and perfectly fine at school.

For parents, the useful part is what it signals. A teen who says they are "talking to" someone is telling you there is a crush and regular contact, without calling it a relationship. It is a good moment for light curiosity rather than an interrogation. One thing worth checking quietly is whether the person is someone they know in real life. "Talking" with someone met only online, especially someone older, is a safety question, not a slang question.

How to reply to talking stage

• A friend says they're in a talking stage: "Day 40 of talking. Either ask him what this is or I'm asking for you."
• Your teen says "we're just talking": "Okay. Is it someone from school? You don't have to tell me more than that."
• A coworker mentions it at lunch: "Good luck. Keep us posted when there's a label."

Is talking stage still used in 2026?

Yes, and it is one of the steadier dating terms around. It describes a phase nearly everyone goes through, so it has not had the boom-and-bust life of trendier slang. What has changed is the mood around it. Online, an endless talking stage is now a common complaint, and phrases like situationship, breadcrumbing and ghosting cover the ways it can go wrong. Spotting a red flag or catching the ick are two of the most familiar reasons a talking stage ends early.